38 Lessons from My 38 Years

I have always maintained that advice is mostly pertinent to the person giving it.  Yet, for me, wisdom is also preciously absorbed. This list is not a pompous lecture to people who haven't walked in my shoes.  It's just some random, bittersweet reflections neatly bundled in reverie of the age 38.

1. Happiness is a choice.

2. So is Love.

3. If you want to be more compassionate, try being homeless for a while.

4. If you want a better world, volunteer.

5. If you want a close-knit community, serve in the military.

6. Being born in America doesn't make me better than people in third-world countries.  It just makes me lucky and benighted.

7. If you want anagnorisis, serve in the Peace Corps or travel to less comfortable countries.

8. Never hesitate to act when wanderlust, infatuation, or adrenaline hits you. You'll eventually have your fill and the aftertaste from drinking its wine lingers for decades.

9. Only boring people are bored; notice & do all the fascinating things around you.

10. Find that wobbly balance between independent freedom and family loyalty.

11. Blood is thicker than water.  But life-long friends may also share the same blood-type.

12. Before you're married, your family comes first; After you're married, your wife comes first.

13. Always make sure your family and friends know that you love them.

14. The death of a loved one is a brutal punch in the gut.  But the pain eventually numbs into a sweet spaciousness.

15. Don't waste time in cemeteries unless you work there.  There are living people to visit and new memories waiting to happen.

16. Persistent work over the long-term builds character and career more than other inherent blessings like talent or beauty.

17. Your 20's should be treated like a puppy.  If you want an obedient old dog, don't have too much fun without discipline.  You don't see many self-made doctors and astronauts that wasted their young adulthood by playing around.

18. You can still "keep it real" by wearing more than one style of clothing and expressing yourself calmly in an articulate method.

19. Be humble but look good doing it.

20. Physiological security should be sought after as much as financial security.

21. Nothing tastes as good as thin feels.

22. But if it's edible, try it anyway.

23. I had hair when I needed it.  Embrace aging with the same pride as when you're abs were chiseled.

24. Escapism is no substitute for genuine experience with the people in your life.

25. If you don't marry, it's ok.  If you don't have children, it's ok.  But do both with proper care and attention.

26. Don't believe the defeated.  Marriage is surprisingly cool with a well-chosen spouse.

27. Weddings are for the families of the bride and groom.  A fantastic marriage should be the real focus of a couple.

28. Sonnet XVII by Pablo Neruda holds new meaning when I look at my bride, Natalia.

29. "So I can see a part of me that wasn't always shady" by 2Pac holds new meaning when I look at my daughter, Denali.

30. Become a feminist long before you have a daughter… or a son for that matter.

31. I want to teach my daughter the value of love, faith, spontaneity, grit, and education in that order.

32. Show the same respect for animals as you do your waiter as you do your role models.

33. Expose yourself to all disciplines and interests so you can carry a meaningful conversation with anyone.

34. Then strike a conversation with people in elevators and various modes of transportation.

35. Science and faith can be two sides of the same coin.

36. Defining God in small boxes of religious exclusivity, desire, or denial only closes our minds to God's eternal possibilities.  But even doubt can open our hearts to the immense wonder of faith.

37. I understand the questions of life better than I did when I had all the answers.

38. Life is still just beginning.

I'm filled with gratitude for everyone and all that taught me these lessons.  Here's to another 38!